It was right at one year ago that Duke and I found out that we were pregnant with our little Audrey.
It has taken me some time, but I think its finally sinking in. :)
I actually knew immediately that I was pregnant. We had to wait 2 weeks to take the test, but I knew all along. As it turns out, knowing that you're pregnant and BELIEVING that you're pregnant - that's two different things.
We kept this pregnancy to ourselves for a number of weeks. For various reasons, we didn't tell many people. And even when we did tell people, we really didn't talk about it much. I think that may have been part of the reason it never felt real to me. Don't get me wrong - I had all the normal pregnancy symptoms - nausea, swelling, exhaustion, mood swings - but I remember waking up every morning having to remind myself that I was going to have another baby. We definitely 'downplayed' the pregnancy - only telling people on a 'need to know' basis. I realized recently that some people never knew I was pregnant. Navine, one of Ben's soccer teammate's mom, was shocked when I brought a new baby to the first soccer game this spring. :)
We waited to tell Ben and Abby until after the 8-week mark. That was the point that I lost the first two of my pregnancies. It has always been a more important milestone to me than the trimesters. Once the kids knew, they were DYING to tell people, but we had them keep it quiet, too. They were so excited and so cute about it.
I started my new job at The Fulton School with only two people there knowing about my pregnancy. I slowly began telling the other teachers as the year progressed, and I began getting more and more tired and swollen. I had to admit it to my Algebra II class (which consisted of 2 girls - Taylor and LuLu) when I had to excuse myself multiple times in one class period to run to the bathroom and throw up. News travels fast in a tiny school. Once 'Algebra II' knew about it, the entire upper school knew. Turns out they both had texted everyone (including their parents) before I made it back from the bathroom. :) It still didn't feel real even when I started getting sonograms once a week.
Then, after my scheduled Wednesday perinatalogist appointment, they put me in the hospital for dehydration and exhaustion. I had seen it coming and I even joked about not coming back as I walked out of my classroom early that afternoon.
They ALMOST released me Friday afternoon. Thank GOD for the very observant nurse who requested to the doctor to keep me on the fetal monitor for another 30 minutes. Duke and I were "Christmas shopping" online when, at minute 24, we heard her heart rate drop. We both looked at each other, and before we could say anything, that observant nurse was at my side. She asked if I had changed positions to cause the monitor to adjust. When we told her we hadn't, things got pretty serious pretty fast. Within 45 mnutes, I was moved to L & D, prepped and ready for my c-section.
Before we knew it, Audrey was here.
They say that good things come in little packages - our little package measured 3 lbs, 5 oz.
She looked just like Ben. We had so many reminders of Ben - the same NICU nurse, similar incubator, similar smells and sounds. It all took me back to the days after I had become a mother for the first time with my 3 lb, 13 oz baby boy.
We spent Audrey's first Christmas with her in the hospital. What a surreal day that was.
Ben and Abby weren't allowed in the NICU, but we let them see their baby sister through the nursery window.
She did wonderfully in the NICU. She grew exactly as she needed to and she met each requirement to get out in record time. Duke and I celebrated New Year's Eve with her in our arms. At midnight, we both kissed her on her tiny head and told her "Happy New Year!" I can't imagine a better way to welcome in 2011.
The next day, we got a call from the NICU. They were ready for us to 'sleep in' with her. Best. News. Ever.
If she continued to add weight overnight, we could take her home the next day.
She did, so we did!
We brought our little 4-pounder home on January 2. That was one of the best days of my life. My family was together. Finally.
I have had the last several months to fully enjoy being a stay-at-home mom with her. I have loved every late-night feeding, every burp-up, diaper change, smile and giggle with her. Today marks 24 weeks since that perinatalogist appointment that landed me in the hospital. It is also the last full day of school for Ben and Abby - the last official day of my maternity leave. I cannot believe how the time has flown by.
I am only now fully comprehending that she is ours. We hadn't realized it all those years, but she was the missing piece to our puzzle.
Thank you, little Audie, for making our family complete. You are the one thing I secretly really wanted but didn't realize I also really needed in my life.
We love you, Audrey Elizabeth.
